Sunday, October 18, 2009

Cooperate and No One Gets Hurt

Listen lady I hate to do this to you but not really. You're gonna to have to come up outta them clothes, shoes, and jewels....quick fast.


Keep the t shirt, phone and the purse. I don't want your money. I'm a lady, I'm no petty thief.

I'll even put you in a cab so you don't have to walk the streets barefoot in your undies.

Hold up...lemme hail one for ya...that's the least I can do.... (ten minutes later) might have a better chance getting a yellow cab out here. You know how it is right. NO actually you don't.

You can handle that right?


I'm out.

PEeeeeeACE!~ Call me if you wanna get rid of anything else in your closet! Tootles!!

While riding the train home Valentina Valentine can't help but talk to herself out loud. She just can't contain her excitement New Yorkers on the train don't pay her no never mind.

"ooooh eeeeee my very own Balmain leather cape and Zanotti boots!!" (She caresses the leather and holds it up to her nose and inhales deeply. She closes her eyes and says 3 hail Marys and crosses herself.)

"Right in time for xmas! YAY!!!!!! Alls I gotta do now is lose about 15 pounds to fit in these pants and Ima be wearing this outfit all day EVERYDAY you hears me!?!!! ALL DAY. EVERY. DAY. YEESSSSS darlin!!!" (she snaps her fingers in Z formation)

"Wearing these leather pants even in my sleep, these are FIYAH!!! you hear me!!!! Oh yes huney...yeeeeeesssssssss!!" (wagging index finger in front of her own face)

"I don't care if I wake up with a sweaty bum....these ain't comin off me no way, no how! Suzie Q wasn't doing it justice any ol way. "

Valentina gets up and talks to the folks on the train that have been giving her sideway glances.

"Listen don't you go feeling sorry for her!!!! Cus if she can afford a $8,000 cape I'm pretty sure she'll be quite alright. Shooooooo. Hmph. You folks are so judgmental."

Valentina gets up and storms out the train, stops and turns around and gives FACE, FACE, FACE before the train doors close and the train rolls away.



Rasul Sha'ir said...

You crazy girl. . . I love storytelling in this post!(I'm a good friend of Black Lily...) I believe she sent you the Toronto Alternative Arts and Fashion week that I sent to her. Keep the creative funk and the fiyah!! Also love those shades. . . one of ems' looks like my Oliver Goldsmith Aviators. . .holla luv!

Anonymous said...

...we are going to turn this post into a short film. I'm NOT kidding. Working on the screenplay...snap THAT in Z formation...beeeeotches!!

~Mahogany Ferocious~

"success ain't nothin'...."

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